Well tweet to you too!

Glad those two are in a cage.

Marty

I had dinner last night with a good friend of mine and she tells me that she had gotten a couple of parakeets given to her and all the funny things that have happened since then. One adventure after another with these two little birds. She cracked me up, I just have to share these with you. And, I had just asked her if she had any funny stories to add to the blog. Nope, can’t think of a thing.

These two little birds really take care of each other, clean one another, guess you call that preening each other, talk a bit and share their perch. Then one of them simply picked up his leg and shoved the other to the side. Guess he/she had had enough for a while. Pushed the other one to the other side of the perch and in his or her way told him to be quiet and just leave me alone.  Bird temper, hmmm.

Cute.

Contributed by:  Barbara Manganello

This was a Mell of a Hess

Paper bags straps don't fit over my head, thank heaven's

Marty

Here's a little story about our cat, Ace. Ace has been gone for several years, but we still laugh at his many antics.

Thanks to my husband, our cats always had access to the outside through a swinging Plexiglas window. They jumped to a landing, through the window to another landing and down to the second-story deck, then down a "cat walk" to a lower deck and finally to the ground. Ace and his sister, Nerf, did this many times a day.

Ace loved bags and would always crawl into an empty one that he happened to find. On the day of Ace's big adventure I had emptied a large Macy's shopping bag with sturdy twine handles and just hadn't put it away.

Well, I hadn't seen Ace for a couple of hours and went looking for him and calling to him--no luck.

Then I noticed the Macy's bag next to the cat launch pad with one handle and a piece of the bag missing. I realized that Ace must have gotten his head stuck in the handle and jumped through the window. That tore the bag and left this poor cat with a shopping bag handle necklace.

I began a frantic search and found our very embarrassed cat hiding under a car in the driveway. I finally coaxed him out and had to laugh at his pathetic state. We laughed a lot, but also realized he was very lucky that the shopping bag ripped and didn't leave Ace hanging on his flight out of the house.

Gail McIntrye

Which Moo Cow is for Me

Don't make your mama mad

Marty                  

Driving to work one morning along our two lane country road I see a few cows in the pasture. Nothing new about that. I find it to be a peaceful scene every morning, relaxing and it gives me a moment of joy. I am thankful that I live far enough out of the city to enjoy the peace and quiet of the country.

This particular morning something caught me eye. A calf running between two cows, like he could not decide for the life of him who he wanted to be with. But I had it figured out right off the bat, his mom had that look, head cocked to one side like kid you better come here right now and stop messing with me. The calf had that, ahhh mom I'm just playing and she is a nice cow too. So he danced between the two cows for a bit, all the while I am sitting at a red light hoping I get to see how this plays out.

I am chuckling watching this, thinking to myself that mom cow must have some feelings in this, she is looking rather upset. The other bystander cow is just there thinking who knows what. Finally, the youngster goes to his mom and stays there. The light turns green and I breathe a sigh of relief hoping that the cows have reached some kind of an agreement.

Ginny Hansen

Now that's a Quack of a Critic

Don't think your going to chase me around
Marty
We had moved to a rural area of Texas on six acres of land. When we moved we brought two cats with us, we survived the trip and I have to say that is something when you move with cats in a car. What a fiasco. To add to our menagerie a few weeks after we settled into the house I bought some baby ducks at our local feed store and hand raised them in our sun room. Oh my goodness that was a terrible job. Ducks are not tidy animals, I was always having to clean up after them but what did I expect? Potty trained ducks? They grew quickly and were allowed to go out to our garden and eat the bugs, that is why I got them. My husband and I created a little pond if you can call it that,we cemented it in and did the best we could on limited funds and limited time. I was staying home for a period of time and had the TV on in our living room. All of a sudden I hear lots of quacking noises from behind me. Our windows went almost to the floor and all the ducks had decided to sit there and watch TV with me from the outside, but they had to discuss everything. Quack, quack and more quacks. Two legged, television critics, with wings.
Ginny Hansen

Fowl Turn

A Chicken or a Rooster she's gone astray
Marty
Finally something other than cats and dogs. While we were on the road as truckers we had made a breakfast stop at a little out of the way restaurant. We could park the truck there so it meant we were eating there. Sometimes trucker’s stop where they can, it does not guarantee that the restaurant has good food. If that were the case all truck stops would be fine eating establishments. That's not always the case, but they do try and that is very appreciated. Anyway, we get out of the truck and head to the side door and out of no where comes a rooster that was not about to let us get in the door! He charges us, took the direct approach and than just looked at us. Mean and glaring. Suppose it didn’t help that we stood there laughing at him. Never did find out what his problem was but others had experienced the same thing. One mad rooster……… Animals can be cranky too.
Ginny Hansen

Wedding Bells for our Two Cats

A cat in a tux? Not my bag...
Marty
My daughter loves cats, we got a lot of our cats because of her. She would check the paper for kittens needing homes and we would soon have new additions to our cat family. Surprisingly our cats all got along, they would blend right in. Mr. Mindy would wash them once they got to the house, show them the house and give them lessons on how to use the cat door. Show them where the feeders were and generally stay with them for a few days until they had transitioned to our way of doing things. My daughter had noticed 2 cats spending a great deal of time together, one male and one female, so she felt they should make it legal. My daughter was 15 at the time when she informed us that we were going to have a wedding. A cat wedding! She made a cake, dressed the cats up beautifully and acted as the preacher. Her step dad dressed in a suit and I got all gussied up and she proceeded to pronounce them husband and wife. Somewhere we have pictures of this event, it was quite something. The cake was delicious! Oh the memories….
Ginny Hansen

The Gobbler wanted to play

A Turkey Dance Isn't for me
Marty
We had a stray turkey, not even the farmer behind us claimed him. He had moved into the neighborhood and was enjoying an occasional roost on the neighbors fence and teasing their dog. He decided to get on our roof one day so I go out to take a peek and he is running across the roof and jumping off the small ledge in the middle of the roof, and going back and doing it again. He had made a game out of this, so I went in the house and just endured the turkey steps over head. But I couldn't help laughing out loud listening to this silly bird running back and forth having a good time with this silly game. It was nearing Thanksgiving and the turkey did disappear, however he was such a pathetic looking thing I would not have wanted him in our oven.
Ginny Hansen

Bare tail for "Bear"

I like my fuzzy pretty tail, thank you very much!
Marty
Our home in the country was surrounded with acres of tall grasses and weeds. Most of the cats just steered clear of those areas, they were well fed and were not hunters. However one of our cats named “Bear” seemed to enjoy a run through the dried weeds and would come in the house with his tail covered with dry burrs. You know those pointy little wheat looking weeds that gets in your pants and everywhere else if you take the wrong path. Bear was solid gray and had a very bushy tail. We all got a bit tired of having to get these burrs out of the sofa and our blankets, so my daughter and her boyfriend came up with a plan one weekend when we were out of town. When we got home we saw bear sort of sulking on the sofa. His tail had been SHAVED! We never realized what a long tail he had. Poor Bear was a bit embarrassed but he seemed to adjust and was glad to not get such a messy tail. To top it off Bear was mute, could not meow he could just make a pathetic little noise. So now we had a bear tailed kitty who really couldn't complain about it.
Ginny Hansen

A Bum Knock

Good example why cat's use a sandbox
Marty
We set out one winter day for a walk around the lake. Poppy spotted a clump of grass and decided to do her "business" on that clump. Just as she started to let it go a little black snake popped up out of that clump of grass and bumped her in the rear! They both took off in opposite directions. The look of surprise on Poppies face was priceless! I still don't know which one was startled the most, her or the snake!
Carol Schleeter

Two Directional Dogs

She could have been half the lady she was before
Marty

My dog is a Lab mix and is afraid of machines. She is afraid of the motor sounds. My auntie has a Shepard mix that is not afraid of anything.

One day, at the park, I had them both on leashes, one in each hand, when a park worker turned on a ride on mower. I was suddenly being pulled in half by two large dogs, one fleeing in crazed panic, and the other bent on murder. I literally couldn't move! I couldn't drop either leash; both dogs were out of their ever-loving minds and would've harmed themselves. Either by being mauled by the mower or a headlong dash directly into traffic just a few steps away. I honestly didn't know what I was going to do when the mower guy noticed my dilemma. He stopped the motor and even helped me to my car.

My hero! We were laughing so hard I thought we would wet ourselves.
Now I take them out with a leash separator, that way if this happens again, it's the leash that will take the abuse!

Unknown author

One Lucky Little Dog

Big and fierce vs the little guy
Marty

My Chihuahua mix dog, Tinkerbell , decided to bolt out the door one day and fly across the campground before we could blink. I couldn't find her for over an hour but finally I heard a muffled bark which sounded like her. She has always been a true hunter and that day was no exception. She had gotten inside the ductwork of a rental room and had cornered some sort of animal. She was barking incessantly and the critter was hissing. There was no talking her out. I had to call staff to tear out the wall next to her. The two creatures were behind the insulation. When that was cut opened, out popped out a full- sized opossum... Tink still wouldn't come out. I had to reach in and drag her out! I don't think the staff will ever let us forget that one. She hasn't gotten loose since.

I can just see Marty shaking his head.

Contributed by: Alice Hayes

Kayak versus a Sea Lion

Won't catch me in the water
Marty

My daughter and son-in-law have two large (and wonderful) dogs. Lobo is a German Shepherd/wolf male and Sashi is an Akita female. Both are over five years old. They have harnesses and leashes for long walks along the Monterey Bay waterfront on the recreation trail. They both love the water so they took them off their leashes at a rather secluded beach and into the ocean they went. Dave and Suzy suddenly realized that there were several sea lions frolicking a couple hundred feet from shore. Sensing possible danger, they whistled the dogs back. Lobo turned around, but no amount of whistling and yelling could stop Sashi from an adventure. Dave and Suzy were getting frantic as sea lions are huge and can be vicious. All of a sudden, a kayaker appeared on the scene and got between Sashi and the sea lions. She literally herded her back to shore. It could have been a disaster, but wasn't because of the kindness, courage and knowledge of a stranger in a kayak.

Contributed by: Gail McIntrye

Look out Below

We do have squirrels in our neighborhood, I get to watch them from time to time. Never knew they could throw things down from the trees though, pretty clever!
Marty

It was a crisp fall day, I was walking my little mutt “Cookie” as I do every morning. As we approached a large walnut tree, she began to bark up a storm. I looked up to see a fluffy little squirrel up in the tree, just then a shower of walnuts came plummeting down on our heads. That squirrel wanted us to leave him alone and go away. Who knew squirrels were so smart?

Contributed By: Bonnie D

They really made her Laugh

I'm glad I didn't see this myself, they would have scared the heck out of me.
Marty

We have a farm on the property behind us and the owner enjoys having a wide variety of animals. Cows, horses, donkeys, peacocks, turkey’s and more, well you get the idea. He enjoys the variety and we get to listen to them. We feel living in the country is better than listening to traffic and gun fire, so we honestly do not mind nature sounds one bit. However from time to time, they over flow into our area and I heard some rustling around on our roof. I went outside to check on the commotion and found seven (7) peacocks looking down at me. I burst out laughing causing quite a peacock commotion and off they went.

Muffled Cries from within the Chimney

Good grief, that must have been one dirty and disgusted cat. I understand Cindy was a calico, but bet you couldn't tell that when they got her out of the fireplace. Yuck...
Marty

Mr. Mindy’s sister, Cindy used to enjoy walking on the patio cover and the roof. I was concerned she would fall or have trouble getting down. She would jump from the hot tub to a ledge on the fireplace to the patio cover and she would be fine. She seemed to have her own way of doing things. One morning when I was getting ready for work I heard a faint meow and really did not think much of it. A meow is a meow, we had a lot of cats, but this sounded muffled and that concerned me. So I started to look around and found the noise was coming from inside our fireplace of all places. Thank Heavens it was not a cold day, we had not lit the insert. Now I was ready for work, but I had a cat stuck in the fireplace and no way to get to her. I called friends of ours to come over and take the insert out very slowly so the mystery cat could not run through the house covered in soot. Slowly he pulled out the insert and sure enough it was Cindy. She looked a fright. I scooped her into a pillow case for safe travel to the vet for a good bath. In the meantime I had to call into work and tell them why I would be late. I used the old cat in the fireplace excuse. It works every time!

Hot Feet

This was one very determined dog. I couldn't run that far!
Marty

Ron was working on his motorcycle and Sam their lab was checking on what was being done, he wanted to make sure he could go for a run soon when the motorcycle was ready.

Ron started up the cycle and took off for a trial run and Sam was delighted and off they went, Sam running along too. The only thing was Ron was going for quite a long ride and Sam was still running along, tongue hanging out but still going as fast as he could trying to keep up. When Sam spotted water running in the gutter he decided to stop and cool his feel off for a while, boy were his feet hot. They sizzled from the hot asphalt.

Ron turned around and slowly went back toward the house and Sam trotted along and found the sprinklers had been turned on and decided that was where he really wanted to be. Right in the sprinklers, cooling off. I bet that felt good.

This story was contributed from Margie Hager

Snake Tails

To all you wonderful pet owners out there, we will do our best to protect you.

When your animals are well fed and well cared for they will do their part to take care of you. Sometimes I wish they would not do that, one cat in particular put his life on the line to let us know that a snake was near by. Turned out to be a rattle snake and my fear was that our cat was going to be bitten. Another cat did the same thing with a water moccasin in Texas, he also wanted to be the brave one of the family and pointed out where the snake was hiding. That snake scared me so badly and I loved my cat so I threw my keys in the direction of the snake to scare the cat away. That worked and my husband had to shoot the snake because it was so close to the house and our children were playing outside. Animals that love you, choosing to protect you from other animals. Interesting.

A Tail Give Away

Another wonderful contributed story.

Our cat Ace (black and white male) was a character who added so much to our lives for many years. Here are a couple of stories from the "Ace Journal".

We always kept our bedroom door closed as we had a waterbed and didn't want any claws sinking into our mattress. Ace was obedient to some commands, but he silently stalked our bedroom area and would run in that room if the door was left open. When he didn't respond to my call one day, I checked our bedroom and found the door open. We have an airframe mattress and not the old wooden enclosure for our waterbed. It looks like a regular bed and has a comforter, with a dust ruffle attached to the wood platform. All these details seem necessary to paint the picture of Ace hiding under the dust ruffle with his TAIL STICKING OUT!

You can't actually go under the bed because of the wood platform, but there was enough room for Ace to hide (he thought). When I called him, he took off and kept running around the bed, partially hidden by the dust ruffle. I finally caught him, but it was difficult because I was laughing so hard.

Contributed by: Gail McIntrye

A Hot Spot

Mom has told me about having one special cat, he was sort of the tribe leader you might say. They had been living in Madera for a while when this particular cat had a rather serious run in with a hot fireplace insert. That was one hurting cat, she tells the story like this.

I have owned many cats and a variety of my funny ha ha’s have been provided by my cats and others in the animal kingdom. Our pets are rich in humor, almost as amusing as our children are from time to time.

We had been living in our home for a couple of years and had a variety of cats, but the cat who was the head of the cat household was called Mr. Mindy. Now there is a lot in his name, we thought he was a girl and so did our vet until we brought her in to the veterinarian to be fixed. Oooops. She was a he and his name was “Mindy”. Rather than change his name we just called him Mr. Mindy and all was well.

I will probably give you many stories about this cat but the one that stands out in my mind was a very cool winter evening and the dog had been chasing Mr. Mindy around the house. He figured he could get away from the dog by jumping on the insert in our fireplace. Just one problem, it had been on for quite a while! To our horror, Mr. Mindy burned all four paws. Now what do you do with a cat who burns all four paws? You call the vet for advise and see what he has to say. We got through to the vet who was eating dinner and told him what had happened, he tried not to laugh but he could not help it. He chuckled and so did we. We decided to take him in the bathroom and run his feet under cool water, at least it would make them feel better.

Mr. Mindy was not pleased with any of this, he panicked and proceeded to faint. Tongue hanging out kind of faint. Never in our lives had a cat fainted, passed out or anything but he did. My husband says what can we do? I turned him topsy turbee and got some blood back in his head and he came round. It took a while but his feet did heal with the help of a little aloe and lot of loving. Poor kitty, he never ever got up on the insert again.

One little knock got the job done

Mom has a bird story. I just like to watch them thru the glass door.

We enjoy birds, I enjoy watching them and mom gets to feed them. Yep, that works.

My goodness, this bit of laughter has nothing to do with cats. I truly enjoy birds and I try to always have a few bird feeders out. One I had hanging in the garden so I could watch it from the living room. It had been a few days since I had filled it and ran out of seed.

We had quite a variety of birds feeding, some little ground feeders that might be of the chickadee family, blue jays and a few others. I was sitting on the sofa and I could hear a slight tapping sound, but I can not figure out where it is coming from. Can’t see anything out the sliding glass door. Nobody standing there, and than I hear it again. My eyes are drawn to the ground, and here is one of the little chickadees tapping on the door. The little guy has come to tell me that the feeder was empty and I needed to do something about it.

A large blue jay was sitting on the railing waiting for the little bird to get my attention, which it did. Can you imagine a large bird waiting on the little guy to knock. How did they know that if they got my attention I would fill the feeder. I simply do not have that answer but I have to say the animal kingdom is much smarter than we think.

What were they thinking anyway?

This is a story told to me by Mom, regarding all those cats in Madera. I didn't live with them at that time. My goodness some of those cats could do some silly things.

One of the Hansen's nine cats had quite a sense of humor, or maybe just a very stupid owner. They had a large California king size waterbed with the baffles and the whole nine yards. Sheets for these beds can be quite expensive, so I would often take off the sheets launder them and put them back on the bed. I know there was some logic in there somewhere.

But here is my situation, this would leave my water bed uncovered. They didn't worry about it, the cats are all de-clawed and they never use their back claws unless for defense purposes. Cindy, Mr. Mindy’s sister (or did you guess that already) would enjoy lying on the waterbed (beause it was so warm) when the sheets were off. But this time something was very wrong, she had her paws stretched out as if she was covering something up. Well that is exactly what she was doing, covering up little holes that she had bitten into the mattress causing it to leak.

She was having great fun, but by the time we realized what was happening that day the damage was done and repairs had to be made. They learned after that to never leave her in the bedroom and to never leave the waterbed uncovered.

Mouse in the Tree

At last a contributor story, thank you, thank you.

The owner of two good size dogs had come home early from work to take them both to the vet for routine exams. It can be a bit daunting with just one dog going to the vet much less two, so she needed a little preparation time. We all know how that can be, get the car ready, grab leashes and so on. Than the process of getting both dogs in the car as willing participants. So the first thing she did was go outside to check on the dogs on the back deck and what does she see but a half decapitated mouse.

She has dogs, not cats so no telling how this poor defenseless mouse got into so much trouble. However she absolutely hates mice, would rather scream and run than have to deal with the situation. So logic takes over and out comes a shovel, lift and chuck the poor mouse out in the field behind their house. Well lift happened but the mouse ended up in her vegetable garden which would never do, so one more lift required. This time the take off was successful and the mouse was launched skyward only to land in the neighbors tree.

There it hangs, draped gracefully over a tree limb. We are hoping for a stiff wind to knock it down, than the neighbor can have a go at it.

Contributed by: Gail McIntrye

Daisy Tries to Fly

Mom the news contributor tells about Daisy and her flying ears.

Even though we had a house full of cats that could come and go as they pleased, I still was thinking about getting a little cute dog. I had always loved dachshunds and found they generally had great personalities. My husband had decided on a little shopping at the pet store to see if he could find a sweet little puppy for me. He spotted a small dachshund, cinnamon color and asked to hold her.

She thought he was wonderful, she got in his pockets and did everything to please him so she would take her home. That is exactly what he did, she came home in his pocket just as sweet as could be. Than he gives her to me. Oh there was a lot of happiness all round and plenty of cats to meet. That just went over so so. But we named her Daisy like all good girl dachshunds and enjoyed our lives together. However Daisy kept disappearing on us. She would get busy and dig under the fence and take a bit of a run.

Now I have to say seeing a small little dachshund run with her ears flying along side always made me laugh. She thought this was great fun, but she had a motive. Yes we fed her, loved her and had all the ingredients for a loving family. But we had 9 cats coming and going all the time. She would prefer a bit more sedate atmosphere so she checked out all the homes all of which we an acre or two apart. She found a home with an elderly couple who lived alone. The alone part really appealed to her.

However even though she would go to visit them on a regular basis they did not want to own her much to her dismay. So we ran an ad and Daisy was sold to another family that had 2 children but no cats. She even got to go to work every day with the man of the house. I think that was part of the key, she liked men….

The Cat and the Fly

My primary staff member, known as mom gave me this story.

Many years ago we had a cat named "Mickey", Mickey and his sister "Toots" lived happily with us. From time to time one of them would do something with that human touch. You know what I mean, all of a sudden we realize that this animal has more brains than we thought. Thinking something through and acting on it. Well close enough. Now many a dog fancier would question this, a cat able to think through a situation. No way? Well I am here to tell you they do from time to time. They surprise me an avid cat lover. Here is how this played out, I was alone in the house (figures, no witnesses) and a fly was buzzing around just annoying me. Mickey starts watching the fly, round and round this bloomin fly is going around the room. Than it lands on the wall close to Mickey, he looks over at me and I could swear he smiled. You know the smile, one corner of his mouth curls up. He turned and quickly jumped up the wall, put both paws flat against the fly and slid them down the wall. He did what? He caught the fly! Now, he turns to me again with the same smile and a captured fly only to cautiously lift a paw and watch the fly escape. By now I am bug eyed laughing and Mickey is just disappointed. Tell me some thought didn’t play into his actions.
　
More cat stories, why because I am waiting for you the reader to contribute you animal stories. Hurry, you can stop me any time now.
We had a lot of cats when we were living out in the country. It started with two and just grew from there. However it was not always our doing. One of our cats, named Charlie really felt that he had the best house to live at so he brought home other cats to share in the good life. Plus we had cat food out in dog feeders on our back patio. It wasn’t like it was exposed for all kitty eyes to see, but the word got out. Every once in a while we would look out to see a new kitty eating at the feeder. We always knew it was Charlie’s doing because we had seen him escorting other cats across the street. So we just bought a lot of dried cat food and kept every cat in the neighborhood happy. Surprisingly they would just stop by for a snack once in a while, they never over stayed their welcome. However one time when my husband came through the patio gate he saw something unusual at the feeders, doesn’t even look like a cat. This time Charlie had escorted a possum home to enjoy in the bounty.